Posts Tagged ‘Movies’

Just a few quick updates, since I haven’t had time to come in and ramble on about life in a while…

Not that I didn’t want to, and not that I didn’t come in here and actually start typing a few times. The problem was that it was usually in those dreamlike states that happens somewhere between 3am and the time the Climber scales the side of my bed. Apparently my creativity goes to sleep before I do.


So anyway…

We went crazy at the after-Halloween sale…

Costumes and accessories between a quarter and a couple of bucks resulted in the kids’ dress-up trunk overflowing with new goodies…and a lot of hilarious photos.

Poor little man was ashamed of Sister's fashion choices for him.

The only real trouble we ran into was when the Climber realized that he was “gasp” wearing a tutu in front of people.

He actually turned bright red and hid his little face in shame.

I wasn’t even aware a 2-year-old could be embarrassed.








The Diva is having a ball with all her new stuff.

She’s even dressed for a ball.

Look out Madonna!









And a rock show.

And the red carpet.

And probably even a questionable strip club…bad momma.

Good thing she's not older..I would have to burn this outfit...













But hey…the dress-up trunk is kick-ass…

He has more to choose from than just the tutu.

And even has a few boy-clothes now!












The Climber has added a few new words and phrases to his vocabulary…

  • “Bye-Bye” (must apparently be yelled for optimal effectiveness)
  • “Nigh-Nigh” (also must be yelled)
  • “Drink”
  • “No”
  • A variation of “Kitty”
  • “Damn” (bad momma)
  • “Awwww Man!” (every time something goes bump)


The Diva is becoming more and more of a diva. She got pushed down at school the other day…hit something sharpish (a stick, we think), and got a small owie on her tummy. Nothing some Neo-Goop and a Pixar Band-Aid can’t fix, but the story was…

“Momma!! I got pushed today…PUSHED DOWN!! It was bad. And my friend had to rescue me…she SAVED ME! Because…because…I have a HOLE IN ME!!! A HOLE! You wanna see it?”

Her friend in this story is a fellow mom who works at the school, is an EMT, is one of the sweetest moms I know, and my daughter LOVES her. I have got to remember to send that girl something baked for Christmas.


Speaking of Christmas…is it wrong that it’s mid-November and I’m already annoyed by the already constant attacks of cheery carols and Santa movies and cinnamon EVERYTHING?


True story…the powers-that-be at the Wal-Mart we cannot live without has apparently decided that hiding automatic air-freshener puffers in the shelves is a bang-up idea. These same idiots stocked them all with Old-Lady-Cinnamon-Baked-Crap scent.

Even better? They chose the motion-sensing scent-puffers.

So, you’re walking along the aisles, minding your own business, and every fifteen feet or so you get sprayed in the face with a nose-clogging, headache inducing fog of Cinnamon-Apple flavored chemical warfare.

Twenty minutes in there and I had a migraine, the Guru’s mood had plummeted into Just-Woken-Grizzly mode, and we’d forgotten half of what we went in there for.

Did I mention that I am allergic to anything made by Air-Wick?


On a better note, later that night the Guru and I (having cleared the headaches in the cold West Texas wind) indulged in a movie minus the munchkins.

No kids, no curfew, adults-only DATE NIGHT…what did we go see?

Puss in Boots, of course! In 3-D.

BTW…it is an awesome movie…if you get a chance to go watch it, GO!


The mommy job is all about gaining a certain number of points per day. It’s a lot like Weight Watchers…everything you do adds (or subtracts) points, and by the end of the day you need to be in a certain range to have successfully completed your day’s work as a Mommy.

You start the day with a few points to begin with, because you deserve them for just taking on the roles of:

  • Mother
  • Cook
  • Chauffer
  • Nurse (boo-boo kisser and Band-aid dispenser)
  • Party planner
  • Fashion coordinator
  • Hair stylist
  • Nose wiper
  • Maid
  • Referee
  • Activities director (and Travel agent)
  • Conscience and Voice of Reason
  • TV/DVD/Stereo/Computer fixer
  • Battery replacer
  • Librarian
  • Teacher
  • Judge and jury
  • Zookeeper

Therefore, all mommies start the day with 50 Mommy Points!

Your goal at the end of each and every day is actually up to you.

Level 1 Mommies: Stressed out mommies with multiple children, full-time jobs, and a single status are perfectly justified in their goal of not gaining points, but simply maintaining their 50 Mommy Points and making sure the kids are healthy and accounted for by the end of the day.

Level 2 Mommies: Middle of the road mommies usually end the day with about 150 Mommy Points, kids in bed drifting off with a movie, the worst of the clutter tossed into a closet, and tomorrow’s jeans in the dryer.

Level 3 Mommies: Super Mom…well, she finishes the day with 300 Mommy Points, a roast in the crock pot for tomorrow, the coffeemaker set to start brewing at the ass-crack of dawn, everyone’s outfits for tomorrow laid out and coordinated according to each other and the weather…and a perfectly pressed red cape hanging on the door ready for the next morning.


Here it is…the POINTS LIST!!

Good Morning!!!

Good Morning Momma!!!

Congratulations, the act of not hiding out under the sheets all day is an accomplishment! It’s a little like starting the semester with an A…you just have to keep it! Good Luck!

+50         Getting out of bed.

-50          Hiding under the covers until someone calls the authorities.


Starting Out:

Once you’ve made it out of bed, the day has to begin, whether you want it to or not. Here are the Mommy Points you can gain (or lose) right out of the gate.

+10         Putting on real clothes before noon.

+15         Those clothes are clean, dry, and match.

+5           Brushing your hair and teeth.

+5           Applying makeup and styling hair in something other than a messy ponytail.

+5           Getting the children dressed in real clothes before noon.

+10         Those clothes are clean, dry, and match.

+10         Children’s hair and teeth brushed.

+5           Little girls’ hair styled.

-25          Wearing PJ’s until it’s time to go back to bed at night.

-10          Limp hair tied back in a messy bun (that you put it in three days ago).

-15          Any child leaves home wearing shorts, snow boots, a sweater-vest, and a necktie.


Feeding Time:


+5           Cereal.

+10         Instant oatmeal, cream of wheat, or malt’o’meal.

+15         Scrambled eggs.

+25         Eggs (any style BUT scrambled), pancakes or waffles, bacon or sausage, toast or biscuits.

-5            Pop-Tarts.

-10          Cookies.

-25          Drag the kids out of the cat’s food bowl and bribe into car with chocolate.

Lunch and Dinner:

+20         Home-cooked and healthy.

+10         Sandwiches and apple slices.

+5           Lunchables.

-10          McDonald’s.

-15          Chips.

-25          Mixing up the doggie bacon with the kids’ bacon.

-45          They need food?


+5           Fruit, raw veggies, baked chips, rice cakes, granola bars, or trail mix.

-5            Candy, cookies, cake, or anything with caffeine.

-20          Whatever they can scavenge from the yard or the neighbors kitchen.


Safety and Security:

+5           Playpens.

+10         Baby backpacks and carriers.

+15         Fenced yards with sandboxes and NO jungle gyms/trees/monkey-bars.

Lovin' the Great Outdoors!

+45         Going outside anytime the kids do.

+10         Helmets and pads for appropriate sports.


+5           Handy supply of Band-Aids.

+10         Seat belts and car-seats for any outing.

...but he IS buckled up!

+10         Jackets, gloves, hats, and other appropriate clothing when there is white stuff everywhere and you can see your breath.

+10         Sunscreen and bottled water when you step outside and start sweating.

-20          Losing a child for any amount of time.

+15         Finding that child within a few minutes (and a few miles).

-35          Not noticing you have lost a child until the police bring them back.

-10          Leaving the dog in charge, that only works in Disney homes.

A Girl and her Dog


Random Common (and not so common) Happenings:

+25         Time playing outside and doing things that don’t involve TV.

+15         Limiting TV to age-appropriate shows.

+10         Setting the Dish to turn to your child’s favorite show every day at the same time.

+15         Enforcing naptime.

+5           Board games and coloring.

-5            Video games (except educational…those cancel out to no loss or gain).

-20          Setting the Dish wrong, and not realizing that your child has been watching Criminal Minds or Law & Order S.V.U. every day for the last month.

+5           Considering that an educational experience and double checking the TV from now on.

+25         Your child knows how to pretend.

+30         Pretending with your child, even if it means wearing the tiara and drinking air tea.

-10          You manage to get overheard by the 4 year old when discussing how much money you should leave for a tooth…and cannot come up with a fast enough answer for “But I thought the TOOTH FAIRY left the money!?!?!?”

-35          You do the same as above, about Santa Clause.



+25         The kids go to bed clean, no matter how they got that way.

+10         Real bath with warm water and tear-free shampoo.

+5           Water toys in the tub.

+15         BUBBLES!!!

+2           Water hose in the front yard (summertime ONLY).

Swimming in a Horse Tank

-500       Toddlers and babies in a tub without you in the room. L


Better Home and Garden:

+25         Everyone has clean clothes every day that come from the closet or dresser clean and folded or hung.

+10         Everyone has clean clothes that come from a laundry basket or dryer.

-15          Everyone runs around naked waiting for the wash cycle.

+50         There is NOTHING sticky on any surface in the home.

+25         The house is cluttered, but relatively presentable.

+10         When company comes over, a quick tossing of random things into a closet is required, but nothing major.

-15          There are trails to get from room to room.

-25          The last time you mopped was when your water broke on the kitchen floor.

-50          You strongly suspect that there are things growing in the fridge and under the couch.

-2            Pets drink from the toilet.

-25          Kids drink from the toilet.


The Bedtime Routine (or lack thereof):

+25         You read a bedtime story.

+25         Pajamas and sheets are always clean.

+5           The kids get to watch TV before bed.

-5            The TV is on all night.

-10          The baby sleeps in a dresser drawer or laundry basket.

-20          Pets sleep in the kids’ rooms.

-35          You don’t know if they went to bed yet or not.


Okay ladies, this is by NO means an all-encompassing list, just a few guidelines that you can customize to fit your own personal needs.

Good Luck!!!

There is really no need to go into debt for the rest of your life, unless you just want the federal government chasing you around forever wanting their money back on the “defaulted” student loans that supposedly were going to get you a degree that would pay for itself in a few short years.

College is not bullshit, don’t get me wrong…but for many, it is truly a waste of time and resources. I went to college. I enjoyed the experience, and I learned a few things. However, the most valuable lessons had nothing to do with the course material or with any professor I ever had. Now there was a prof’s assistant that taught me a few things once…never mind, that still didn’t have a thing to do with Geology.

Bartending at night, waitressing during the day, and dating actually taught me more than college ever did. Add a couple of marriages and children and I have a degree in Real Life that contains more knowledge and experience than any PhD. Unfortunately, I also have the student loan debt. I am on the fence about whether the cost of college is actually worth it or not. That is a debate for another post…

So, you want to learn how to make a living at something without the thousands and thousands of dollars in debt, the criminal record that is almost a prerequisite for anyone entering their 3rd year of college, and the four or five or twelve years of late nights, early mornings, stressing over grades, hours in the library, and creepy dorm guys?

You need $16.95 a month.


That is roughly the amount of a middle of the road, 3-DVDs-out-at-a-time, unlimited streaming membership with Netflix. And no…there is no Pell Grant for this route of higher learning, you actually have to pay the 17 bucks each month. However, there are no books and you can attend classes in your pajamas.

Let’s say you want to be a chef. You need a queue (nifty little list of discs you want them to mail to you) full of Rachael Rae, Paula Deen, and Emeril. Watch and learn. Simple, right?

There is even a cute little search box at the top of the Netflix page that allows you to search for movies and TV shows according to topic, actor, title, etc. So go ahead and search for Yoga, plan yourself an itinerary, and set out to teach Yoga to the huddled masses on the streets of Philly.

Note: Yoga classes in public are not well-received in Texas…  Country line-dancing is not well-received anywhere else BUT Texas.

Need a more lucrative, better paying job with more risks, but greater rewards? Sign yourself up for the entire 6 or 7 seasons of Weeds. The adventures of the pot-selling suburban housewife teaches you everything you might need to know about growing, selling, cover businesses, building a sales team, and covering your ass. You learn what to do with great detail and extra tips and tricks, and you learn what not to do by watching the mistakes of the characters and how they solve their problems.

You can consider the Master’s course of study by watching every episode of Weeds and moving on to some movies. Each movie counts as a graduate course, and include such classics as Pulp Fiction, True Romance, The Last Boy Scout, and Blow.

Not into growing or selling drugs? There are plenty of other courses of study in the Movies and TV Degree Programs.

Religious Studies? Rent the Passion of the Christ, The Gods Must Be Crazy, and Dogma.

Feel the need to be the Bonnie or Clyde of the next generation? Line up every Law & Order there is, and follow it up with Criminal Minds and CSI. These teach you what to do in the what not to do way. Advanced degrees require some full-length movies…again Pulp Fiction is a good choice, as is Once Upon a Time in Mexico and Reservoir Dogs. Actually, just search for Quentin Tarantino and “add all.”

Animal Rights? Check out Gorillas in the Mist and 12 Monkeys.

Have an itch to get into medicine (at least the under the table, fix it without a medical license kind)? Start with the diploma program that includes all the episodes available of ER, Grey’s Anatomy, Scrubs, and HawthoRNe. For a more advanced training program add House MD and the movie Medicine Man.

See? Everything you ever need to know, you CAN get from Netflix!



The 20 Most Rewatchable Movies of All-Time.

Yes, I am cheating here…terribly boring of me, I know. However, this is a list that I just had to share because I have to agree with almost every single one…

It is sometimes almost scary to be in here, and at the very least it is often quite confusing. I tend to run on several channels at once, with interference from each one creating an undertone of distracting noise on the others.

I figured I might be able to record a sample of my typical thought train and see how it looked in writing.

Ok…yes, I am bored and couldn’t think of anything brilliant to write about for the moment, so I am writing a post about nothing in particular.

I was sitting on the front steps earlier watching my son play in his sandbox with his favorite cat and found myself contemplating the energy drink in my hands. It bragged: non-carbonated, all-natural, guaranteed to quench even the “most intense thirst.”

I found myself thinking about thirst-quenching drinks and wondering why some work better than others. Tea and water, for example, work everytime…if the tea is unsweetened. Add sugar and it seems to detract from the tea’s thirst-quenching abilities. Sugary lemonade, though, can work great. So it really doesn’t make sense, since apparently the presence of sugar doesn’t really have an effect on thirst-quenching success.

That got me on a tangent of why non-carbonated beverages work so much better than carbonated ones…since you would think bubbles wouldn’t really make that much of a difference. I second-guessed myself on that one when I remembered the “crisp, clean taste of Sprite” which is carbonated, sugary as hell, and kills thirst as well as any tea or lemonade…if it’s cold. The cold vs. warm debate was not one I wanted to get into with myself, so I ignored that thought.

Speaking of thirst, I wondered…is that what it is like to be a vampire? The most thirsty you can get, where only tea or water will work, seems to burn in the back of your throat. If that is how a vampire feels, then I truly feel sorry for them. It would be horrible to not be able to turn to a huge glass of iced tea…

Furthermore, how can blood quench a thirst? It’s hot and sticky and I can’t imagine that would be a good feeling on the back of a parched throat. Would chilled blood work better? And would it somehow not be as good if they drank it from a cup with a straw? Somehow that just seems more civilized and less messy. Preferably a cup that is not clear… A lid would also be good, bloodstains suck to get out of carpet.

In Twilight, Bella drank her blood from a cup when she was pregnant with the half-vampire child. Wouldn’t that be impossible? A vampire is essentially dead…wouldn’t the sperm be well past swimming and fertilizing??

Anyway…those books (Twilight series) were so much better than the movies, even though the movies were entertaining. I liked the cast they chose for everyone except Rosalie…for some reason I didn’t think the actress was pretty enough to live up to the books’ descriptions of “the most beautiful creature anyone had ever seen.” I mean, the movie Rosalie had black eyebrows and white-blonde hair. That isn’t all that attractive on any creature. That’s just me though…I’m not really into tall blonde chicks, hehee.

Speaking of books, movies, and vampires…

Why can’t they make movies of the Anita Blake (Laurell K. Hamilton) series? Those were a hell of a lot more entertaining and imaginative than Twilight…and wouldn’t have sparked an entire nations disbelief in a sparkly vampire. Hamilton’s vampires were just as sexy as Edward Cullen any day…but they didn’t sparkle. They were too cool for that.

I liked that the were-animals in the Blake series were far more diverse than a few small-town werewolves. There are gun-toting wererats and stripper wereleopards…so much cooler!

No, I actually don’t read only about vampires…I read all kinds of things. I like crime thriller type books, and am a fan of Iris Johansen and Sandra Brown. Some of Stephen King’s stories are okay, but a little over-rated. Except Christine. Christine was probably one of my favorite books of all time. I loved that mean, jealous, bitchy car!

The movie was ok…not great. I am not usually thrilled with remakes, but that one would be a good one for the “movie people” to make a newer version of. They would have to keep the make and model of the car though…she just wouldn’t look right as a shiny new Chevy or something.

Too bad they’ve really run out of ideas for good movies. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen more than a handful of really good movies. They are all tedious and boring now. A few have been ok. The Ugly Truth was a little cheesy, but fun. How Do You Know turned out to be really good. Of course, I love Jack Nicholson…you cannot beat his sarcastic charm.

Did Robert Duvall die? I always liked him, too…he was (is?) an awesome actor. I loved his character in Lonesome Dove. I still cry everytime Gus dies. He was also pretty good in Days of Thunder.

Tom Cruise was so much better back then…when he wasn’t afraid to “act outside the proverbial box.” Interview with the Vampire…he made a great Lestat. I wonder if he is still into the whole Scientology thing, and how they felt this weekend when the world didn’t end? Were they one of the groups that were expecting us all to get snatched up out of our shoes Saturday?

Someone made a joke that the Rapture didn’t happen because God and Jesus decided it wasn’t worth the price of gas to come down at this time… I thought that was freaking hilarious, some people didn’t see the humor. I was one of the ones in favor of buying a bunch of blow-up dolls, filling them with helium, and releasing them at 6 o’clock Saturday evening to watch people freak out. I’m not exactly politically correct though.

I wish the wind would stop blowing…my daughter has been wanting to get out her slip n slide. Lately though, it would turn into a mudbath that I really don’t want to clean up. Not to mention, poor Dylan would blow away if he were on a slippery surface.

Cheyenne’s program at school is tomorrow morning, then they are going to spend a couple of days with Grandma. YAY!!! Peace and quiet!!

Maybe I will get some more done those two days…I really need to write some stuff for something other than this. Even though this is my favorite project. I also need to clean up the house. I have dishes in the dishwasher that need put away, and I have laundry that needs folded.

Those are my two biggest pet peeves…putting up clean clothes and dishes. I have no idea why, but I don’t mind washing either, but putting them away is annoying. My clothes stay in a pile most of the time until they get worn. This bugs the crap out of me sometimes, and other times I think, “who really gives a rat’s ass if they are in the closet or a basket anyway?”

I guess I answered my own question…sometimes I give a rat’s ass. Life would be so much less stressful if I could just let go of the notion that they needed to be put away neatly and let them sit in their basket. Then I wouldn’t have to put them away, but I also wouldn’t have to feel guilty because I haven’t yet.

Okay, that was over 1200 words on absolutely nothing at all, and I have better things to do. Hope you enjoyed the ride on that thought train!

There are plenty of “best movie” lists out there. This one isn’t a list of the best, or the worst, or anything else that makes sense. It’s just MY list…which of course makes it perfectly important.
Casablanca. Just kidding, I actually hated that one…but for some reason it is almost always in a list like this. Thought there might be a blog-cop out there who will boot your list off the internet if your best-movies lists don’t have Casablanca on them. I also have another admission…I don’t like John Wayne *gasp* so you won’t find his movies on here, either. Also not on my list of favorites…Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Gone with the Wind, and Beaches.
Steel Magnolias. This is one chick flick that I am fully supportive of. Any movie where you can combine Southern charm and propriety with a line such as “There’s nothin’ like a good piece of ass” cannot be wrong.
Pulp Fiction. It amuses me that most people watch this movie for about twenty minutes and give up on it out of complete and total confusion. It does take a modicum of intelligence to follow, and more to appreciate…but if you understand the subtleties, it is hilarious. Need more convincing? Ok…Bruce Willis, John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson, Ving Rhames, Uma Thurman…
Full Metal Jacket. Yeah, I am a girl, and I love this movie.
Pretty Woman. She’s a dirt-poor hooker with a safety-pin holding her boot up. He’s a bajillionaire with a penthouse. They get to live happily ever after. What’s not to like?
Dogma. This one is not for the faint of heart, or the easily offended…first of all it has Jay and Silent Bob. Secondly, Alanis Morrisette is cast as God. Chris Rock is the 13th Apostle who was left out of the Bible because of his skin color. George Carlin is a bishop…and there is a battle with a Shit-Demon. Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are fallen angels trying to get back into Heaven via New Jersey. If you don’t offend easily, this one is HILARIOUS…if you do, you probably have read enough here to hate me. Sorry.
The Last Boy Scout. Bruce Willis is a smartass ex-cop who smokes too much, drinks too much, swears too much, and tells really bad jokes. Things blow up, bad guys have equally bad accents, and people get shot and/or beaten up every few minutes. It’s great!
Top Gun. I have been able to quote this entire movie since I was in Jr. High. In fact, I watched it just the other day on ION television and was pissed that they edited it enough to throw off my quoting rhythm.
Silence of the Lambs. It doesn’t even scare me anymore…but it does crack me up every time.
The Breakfast Club. Anyone who was EVER an awkward teenager can relate to this movie. It’s a classic! Everyone had a character that was “totally me!”
Dangerous Liaisons. Because everyone needs a pretentious pseudo drama full of bad accents in their list of great movies. …and John Malkovich makes any movie a must-see.
Point Break. Keanu trying to combine surfer and cop. Patrick almost nailing a great combination of charming and bad guy. Gary Busey in the endearingly down and out cop role that he’s so good at. Was…I guess. He’s not bad in celebrity rehab, either…quite convincing, haha.
Dazed and Confused. Never seen it??? “It’d be much cooler if you did.”
Basic Instinct. So, was she or wasn’t she an ice-pick killer???
Heathers. This dark and twisted comedy never fails to brighten my day. Christian Slater was a fun actor when he was younger, and makes a pretty good charming teen sociopath. Plus when the most annoying Heather drinks the drain cleaner I somehow think of all the “mean girls” in my own high school and think they all would have made great Heathers.
Fight Club. Ahahaha!!! A multiple personality in a power struggle with himself? I have always liked Edward Norton anyway, but this character is almost his best. It’s a toss-up between this psycho and the character he played in American History X (also a good one).
Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man. Cheesy, over-the-top, several really bad actors if you don’t count the main two…and a helicopter grand finale. Lots of bullets, not much blood, money, hookers, a bar, and drugs… I will always remember the advice that Don Johnson’s daddy used to give “before he left this shitty world.”
Nightmare on Elm Street. “One, Two…he’s after you.” Freddy is and always will be the scariest villain of all time.
Dirty Dancing. “Nobody puts Baby in the corner.” This movie will never lose its charm, no matter how cheesy and outdated it becomes. The kiss (when he lip-sings the words to the song) at the end of that movie is still the sexiest, most romantic scene ever to be filmed…
Boondock Saints. I have the prayer as a ringtone on my phone. Probably my favorite character of all time is Willem Defoe’s flamboyant cop.
Leaving Las Vegas. I can’t really explain it, but I have always liked Elisabeth Shue, and Nic Cage makes an absolutely unforgettable drunk. These two are screwed up in every single sense of the word, and somehow manage to make slowly dying seem sexy.
Benny & Joon. Johnny Depp climbs trees and makes grilled cheese sandwiches with an iron. He was also “won” in a poker game. Additional entertainment is Mary Stuart Masterson in her helmet and snorkel…
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy. Viggo Mortensen. Orlando Bloom. …plus, I am kind of a nerd, I just fall short of loving Star Wars.
Pirates of the Carribean. Johnny Depp is always a good choice, and as the best/worst pirate ever to wear too much eyeliner, he is absolutely delightful.
Die Hard. Yippie Ki-yay, M*ther F*cker (for some reason, people think if you put the asterisk in the middle of the curse word, it is more socially acceptable to type “fuck”…so there ya go).
I will probably continue to think of movies that “I should have listed” for months, now. I also feel like a complete sell-out for putting something as mainstream as a favorite movies list on my blog. Oh well. I entertained myself for half an hour, if nothing else.
Btw, if you haven’t seen the Tourist…I would recommend it.