Tooth Wiggling…My Own Personal Hell

Posted: March 14, 2012 in Random Crap
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

The first part of the news is exciting…

The Diva has a wiggly, wobbly tooth! She is excited about this, can’t keep her hands out of her mouth…and isn’t even bothered by the fact that eating pizza is suddenly damn near impossible. Looming in the near future is the first visit from the Tooth Fairy!

Great news, right?

Yeah, for everyone but the freakin’ stand-in Tooth Fairy…because our resident TF just happens to be in another state for a week.

See, a long time ago, the Guru and I made a pact. He would be the primary tooth puller. Wiggly teeth are HIS department, not mine.

Why? Because I just flat can’t handle it.

Yes, I was trained as an EMT and worked as a sports trainer for a college football team. I’ve worked wrecks that made cops throw up behind their cars. I’ve performed CPR on the top of moving gurneys in scenes straight out of movies. Broken bone trying to escape your leg? Nope, it doesn’t even faze me.

Blood is cool, not icky.

I can skin a deer. I don’t particularly care for snakes and mice and spiders, but they don’t actually scare me. I watch Criminal Minds, Bones, and CSI in fascination.

So I consider myself a pretty tough girl, in these things…iron stomach and all that.

However, there are three things in this world that actually do completely, totally scare the Bejeezus out of me:

  1. Clowns, and dolls dressed as clowns (yes clowns, the smiling, happy, kid-loving party-going do-gooders…evil bastards).
  2. Scorpions (again, evil). I used to turn down dates if the man was a Scorpio.
  3. Wiggly teeth.

My own personal Hell would be running barefoot through a field of scorpions, chased by a kid yelling “look, it wiggles!” …with a clown cheering from the sidelines, laughing maniacally. In the background the Titanic soundtrack will be playing on loop for eternity.

But anyway…

If there is any kind soul with Tooth Fairy experience in the West Texas area who wouldn’t mind being on-call for the next few days, you have the chance here to be a real hero…


  1. Christy Yates says:

    Mrs Ramsey it the resident tooth puller at school!!! Something to think about! 😉

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