Writers are a Pain in the Ass

Posted: June 8, 2011 in Random Crap
Tags: , , , , , ,
  • They tend to think on seven or eight channels at once. If you cannot keep up, you will be lost.
  • Every little thing is over-explained. As in, even the simplest concepts will usually be reiterated several times, usually with examples of similar situations/concepts. Those examples will be carefully crafted to fully explain the concept, and you will have to sit through another explanation of why the example is not exactly like the concept that was the original point. This might require examples as well, depending on the complexity of the original concept, and peripherally, the sample given.
  • They tend to utilize gargantuan idioms in an attempt to completely take advantage of an extensive vocabulary.
  • There are times that a writer will trail off of a sentence or conversation into their own oblivious… If you can get them to revisit a subject where they actually left off, you’re doing great!
  • If you piss off a writer, you will find yourself the subject of an exaggerated (but ultimately true) blog post that makes you look like the jackass you are. Links to the blog will be sent to everyone you ever knew.
  • You will suddenly realize in random conversations that the writer has zoned out and you’ve been talking to yourself for half an hour.
  • The “do not disturb” sign on the computer/home office/desk area is NOT a mere suggestion. Violating the terms of “do not disturb” is punishable by death.
  • Creative differences. Enough said.
  • There are sticky notes with random, unintelligible snippets all over the place. It is not a funny joke to rearrange them. Actually throwing them away holds the same sentence as a third violation of the “do not disturb” sign.
  • You can be chatting with a writer seemingly just fine and he/she will suddenly wander off in the middle of the conversation, usually chewing on a pen.
  • The little notebook that goes everywhere with a writer? DON’T touch it. EVER.
  • They will give you “Word of the Day” toilet paper.
  • If you live with a writer, you might as well feed the fish…you will be the only one who remembers on a consistent basis.


  1. sbahlemarwa says:

    Every thought a writer has is a new topic- which they HAVE to share with everyone!!!

  2. The Rungs of A Ladder says:

    Wow, That is one awesome List, plus it so true. You seem to have experienced this 😛

    • Sparky says:

      Haha…yes, most of them! Proof? The sticky notes currently scattered within sight at the moment include:
      “blue jacket – Bubbles!”
      “NOT a cat”
      “willfully ignorant???”

  3. Twisted Imaginings says:

    OUCH! you’ve stereotyped all of us who belong to this species!! ;P
    Good Post, BTW – you seem to have some rather painful memories 🙂

    • Sparky says:

      Lol, I figured I couldn’t be the only writer with these quirks…this was one of those random posts that just sort of wrote itself sometime after midnight 🙂

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