The ‘Net Needed Another “Best Movies” List

Posted: May 17, 2011 in Random Crap
Tags: , , , , , ,

There are plenty of “best movie” lists out there. This one isn’t a list of the best, or the worst, or anything else that makes sense. It’s just MY list…which of course makes it perfectly important.
Casablanca. Just kidding, I actually hated that one…but for some reason it is almost always in a list like this. Thought there might be a blog-cop out there who will boot your list off the internet if your best-movies lists don’t have Casablanca on them. I also have another admission…I don’t like John Wayne *gasp* so you won’t find his movies on here, either. Also not on my list of favorites…Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Gone with the Wind, and Beaches.
Steel Magnolias. This is one chick flick that I am fully supportive of. Any movie where you can combine Southern charm and propriety with a line such as “There’s nothin’ like a good piece of ass” cannot be wrong.
Pulp Fiction. It amuses me that most people watch this movie for about twenty minutes and give up on it out of complete and total confusion. It does take a modicum of intelligence to follow, and more to appreciate…but if you understand the subtleties, it is hilarious. Need more convincing? Ok…Bruce Willis, John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson, Ving Rhames, Uma Thurman…
Full Metal Jacket. Yeah, I am a girl, and I love this movie.
Pretty Woman. She’s a dirt-poor hooker with a safety-pin holding her boot up. He’s a bajillionaire with a penthouse. They get to live happily ever after. What’s not to like?
Dogma. This one is not for the faint of heart, or the easily offended…first of all it has Jay and Silent Bob. Secondly, Alanis Morrisette is cast as God. Chris Rock is the 13th Apostle who was left out of the Bible because of his skin color. George Carlin is a bishop…and there is a battle with a Shit-Demon. Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are fallen angels trying to get back into Heaven via New Jersey. If you don’t offend easily, this one is HILARIOUS…if you do, you probably have read enough here to hate me. Sorry.
The Last Boy Scout. Bruce Willis is a smartass ex-cop who smokes too much, drinks too much, swears too much, and tells really bad jokes. Things blow up, bad guys have equally bad accents, and people get shot and/or beaten up every few minutes. It’s great!
Top Gun. I have been able to quote this entire movie since I was in Jr. High. In fact, I watched it just the other day on ION television and was pissed that they edited it enough to throw off my quoting rhythm.
Silence of the Lambs. It doesn’t even scare me anymore…but it does crack me up every time.
The Breakfast Club. Anyone who was EVER an awkward teenager can relate to this movie. It’s a classic! Everyone had a character that was “totally me!”
Dangerous Liaisons. Because everyone needs a pretentious pseudo drama full of bad accents in their list of great movies. …and John Malkovich makes any movie a must-see.
Point Break. Keanu trying to combine surfer and cop. Patrick almost nailing a great combination of charming and bad guy. Gary Busey in the endearingly down and out cop role that he’s so good at. Was…I guess. He’s not bad in celebrity rehab, either…quite convincing, haha.
Dazed and Confused. Never seen it??? “It’d be much cooler if you did.”
Basic Instinct. So, was she or wasn’t she an ice-pick killer???
Heathers. This dark and twisted comedy never fails to brighten my day. Christian Slater was a fun actor when he was younger, and makes a pretty good charming teen sociopath. Plus when the most annoying Heather drinks the drain cleaner I somehow think of all the “mean girls” in my own high school and think they all would have made great Heathers.
Fight Club. Ahahaha!!! A multiple personality in a power struggle with himself? I have always liked Edward Norton anyway, but this character is almost his best. It’s a toss-up between this psycho and the character he played in American History X (also a good one).
Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man. Cheesy, over-the-top, several really bad actors if you don’t count the main two…and a helicopter grand finale. Lots of bullets, not much blood, money, hookers, a bar, and drugs… I will always remember the advice that Don Johnson’s daddy used to give “before he left this shitty world.”
Nightmare on Elm Street. “One, Two…he’s after you.” Freddy is and always will be the scariest villain of all time.
Dirty Dancing. “Nobody puts Baby in the corner.” This movie will never lose its charm, no matter how cheesy and outdated it becomes. The kiss (when he lip-sings the words to the song) at the end of that movie is still the sexiest, most romantic scene ever to be filmed…
Boondock Saints. I have the prayer as a ringtone on my phone. Probably my favorite character of all time is Willem Defoe’s flamboyant cop.
Leaving Las Vegas. I can’t really explain it, but I have always liked Elisabeth Shue, and Nic Cage makes an absolutely unforgettable drunk. These two are screwed up in every single sense of the word, and somehow manage to make slowly dying seem sexy.
Benny & Joon. Johnny Depp climbs trees and makes grilled cheese sandwiches with an iron. He was also “won” in a poker game. Additional entertainment is Mary Stuart Masterson in her helmet and snorkel…
The Lord of the Rings Trilogy. Viggo Mortensen. Orlando Bloom. …plus, I am kind of a nerd, I just fall short of loving Star Wars.
Pirates of the Carribean. Johnny Depp is always a good choice, and as the best/worst pirate ever to wear too much eyeliner, he is absolutely delightful.
Die Hard. Yippie Ki-yay, M*ther F*cker (for some reason, people think if you put the asterisk in the middle of the curse word, it is more socially acceptable to type “fuck”…so there ya go).
I will probably continue to think of movies that “I should have listed” for months, now. I also feel like a complete sell-out for putting something as mainstream as a favorite movies list on my blog. Oh well. I entertained myself for half an hour, if nothing else.
Btw, if you haven’t seen the Tourist…I would recommend it.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s