Adventures in Child-Rearing

Posted: February 22, 2011 in Munchkins, Minions, Hellions...
Tags: , , , ,

Did you know that a typical Emergency Room waiting area has roughly 17 easily identified hazards for the average toddler? And that the average toddler can find at least 14 of them in the amount of time it takes an adult to fill in one admission form?

These findings are based on the number of potentially disastrous antics my son managed to engage in this afternoon while I worked at getting my daughter in to see a doctor who could tell me that there was nothing lodged inside her sinus cavity.

The exam room proved even worse than the waiting area.

Drawers and cabinet doors are evidently fascinating to toddlers…and the typical ER examination room contains roughly 47 drawers and doors in the lower 3 feet of the area. The rest of the lower 3 feet of space contains backboards leaning precariously against walls, rolling stools, bio-hazard containers, small silver bins, tables on wheels, and the occasional sharps container.

I also learned that a fast-moving ambulance cot can be stopped on a dime (with a lot of cursing) if a wayward child escapes and runs out into the hall at the wrong moment.

In the midst of this fiasco was the scared little girl who had “maybe got a tiny, baby little flower stuck in her nose ‘yesserday’.” This (or maybe the dry weather mixed with allergies and a head-cold) resulted in a nosebleed that even my EMT training couldn’t seem to touch.

I am not squeamish, and blood doesn’t bother me…or I couldn’t have even passed the EMT training. I wasn’t even considering a doctor until my daughter gave me the “tiny, baby little flower” story. That’s when I figured there is a chance the profuse bleeding might just be related…and I had no way of knowing if said mystery object had been lost, swallowed, imagined, or had made its way into the wall of a sinus cavity.

On short notice, on a school day in a town of 400 people, there aren’t many options for a mother needing a sitter for a one-year-old. Since my husband was stuck at work…me and both kiddos made that fateful, and fruitless, journey.

My daughter got a clean bill of health.

My son was rescued from the sure-to-be angry nurses by my Dad…who rescued us and took us home, where Mom fed us.

I got a headache.
Guess what else I got?

A small, flower-shaped bead. Brought to me by my daughter, about ten minutes after we arrived at home…

“Mommy, look! I found it on the floor…guess it wasn’t in my nose after all!!!”


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